cool. iron chef is on. it's an italian cook against iron chef japanese. i don't know what's so interesting about that show...it's undescribable. i mean, you can't even eat the food! yet i still watch...*drool*

today my mom and i visited the woolavers since they're in town. it wasn't so bad seeing hannah again. all we did was sit in their backyard with our moms, drink perrier water and sangrila. we didn't stay so long either. her dad is really funny, in a dry wit sort of way. he's a priest (anglican) but has a rock band and everything. they're called " max woolaver and the village dogs". once i went to one of their shows, and fell asleep. once i went to a piano lesson with hannah, and fell asleep there too. once i feel asleep getting my haircut. and once i fell asleep while talking to someone on the phone. suddenly, the whole point of this paragraph has changed. tricky tricky. ahh the spice of life! i think i had too much sangrila. lol

anyways, afterwards my mom and i went to the iga in apple-town to get some stuff for mark's bday dinner tonight. (THAT's why he's home!! ahh i'm so smart!!) i obviously forgot it was his bday (4th bday i've forgotten this year) but i didn't tell anyone, so everything played out well. anyhoo, while my mom was looking at meat, i was driving the cart slowly and singing some better than ezra song. i was singing it pretty loudly, and i guess i was really zoned out, because i was blocking this guy from walking past me. actually, he was trying to get something from the shelf i was blocking, but since i was going so slowly, he couldn't. not only that, but i was sort of sashay-ing so he couldn't pass me either. i didn't notice until i saw his arm try to grab something beside me. it was funny. i was like : "oop! sorry there! lalala...lala!" and then i started cackling. poor guy. he probably has a complex now.

i was hoping to see mel there, but i didn't. so meh.

andrew and i went to Dairy Queen to get a cake for mark. we asked them to write: "Happy Birthday, Chump!" on it. andrew made me ask. the guy came back 2 times to clarify what we wanted. he's like "um...chum? " us: "no. chump." him: "chump? ...uh..chump?? like c-h-u-m-P??".
geez. it was funny though. it had a dinosaur on it. last year we got him a winnie the pooh one, for no reason. i mean, for his bday, but he doesn't have a thing for w. the pooh or anything. my family still acts like it's a big suprise to get a cake, and we still try to hide it while we put on the candles. it's hilarious, because it's so lame and cliché. but i love it.

last night was the night of boring conversations. no offense to anyone. i was just pretty tired, so i guess i found everything annoying at that time. carson showed me a pic of the motorbike he's supposedly getting next spring. it looks like a moped. i told him that, and the convo ended up going:
"yes it is."
"no it's not"
"yeah. it is"
it was irritating, but no one's fault. turns out it's probably not a moped. oops.
talking to pat is always irritating now. i don't know why. occasionally it'll be alright, and interesting. but he was telling me about his future gf's band, and how he was gonna ask her out. i didn't really care, but i humoured him. he mentioned her band's name is "jihad".
me: oo, that's....controversial.
him: why??
*i told him why.
him: oh i get it.
me: so do they know what it means?
him: why, what's it mean?
me: i just told you, fool
him: oh yeah. lol i'm dumb. (no kidding! jk.) what an awesome name.
me: what?!! but they're not religious in anyway, and especially not about islam, and they're not muslim!!! they don't stand for anything.
him: but if you knew what it meant, it'd be a cool name
me: but they're not religious...okay, this could go on forever.

sometimes i feel sad when i think about some people. that name is retarded for a band. speaking of high school bands, they are lame. no, i take that back. i just think of those losers who bring guitars to school to show off, but all they play is power chords, than everyone thinks they're amazing. i never used to have something against everyone, something's changed...just a mood i suppose.

damn, i'm feeling so bitchy. but i still consider it a good mood. dar!

i love the poor dubbing jobs on iron chef! the lady judges say the dumbest things. "ooo! it's so....green!! tee hee!!" "ooo fire! oh don't get hurt, now!" "the aroma makes my stomach tickle."

talking to mel. she's awesome. i still consider her one of my best friends, even though we never see each other. awww...

i dunno why. i'm not as keen on visiting michigan anymore. that's probably just a phase too. it's probably just because i haven't talked to sharon in a while.

i have pants full of change. like five bucks worth of quarters. it's all left over from when we went to the arcade. that was fun. shannon IS ragnor! haha. i'd elaborate. but ... well, i guess i won't elaborate.

markus needs compus.

o sing and ... dance! dance! dance! dance! *broadway claps and steps*

i wanna be loved by you. (just you!)
nobody else but you (it's true!)

Hannah called today. i was too suprised to act suprised. it was a little....awkward. i kept saying "that's cool" to everything she said, and she kept saying "yes. ee--yes". my mom and her mom are talking now. they're really good friends. her mom is really nice. once, my mom said to me: "ohh, how about you go call up hannah?" and it was funny because she was using me to see ellen again. what a wuss.

emma saw my messenger bag and did a goblin walk/face/hand gesture. it was the best thing i've ever seen. she thinks i copied her, but she won't admit that she thinks that. oh well!

the MTV music awards were really boring. jimmy fallon looked like a bug. celebrity is so rediculous! i still want to be one though. haha well....

i don't want my mom to sell this house. i want somewhere i can bring my kids and show them where i grew up. i was so mad when we moved from our old house. i think i was the only one who liked it there. now i finally like this house a lot too, but we're all moving around.

i must pack soon. then buy more clothes. hehehe no, i'm paranoid of spending money now (even though yesterday was different) cause i have a feeling i'm not going to have enough to go on the China Trip. i wonder who'se all going on that? it'll be soo cool to go with my mom. yeah, that's right. i love hanging out with my mom. wanna fight about it? (i know shanana does, that punk.)

yesterday was fun. as was predicted. i read through Fox in Socks yesterday. it WAS very dangerous! then later, when i was watching tv, i could hear andrew quietly reading it to himself. it was funny. he said it was dangerous too. so it's agreed then.

i wonder if Dr. Seuss is really a doctor. maybe he's one of those non-medical doctors, but he has a PhD in say...nonsensical writing or something. i want me one of dose!

aiee. foot cramp. gah..people i dont want to talk to came online. i must go offline. i think i'm at a peak of anti-socialism...plus i'm defeating the whole purpose of msn messenger.
i'm pretty glad we didn't go to the party.

i'm so tired...i fell asleep exactly 12 hours ago. i had 10 hours of sleep, but i want more. ughgh..

paid off the book deposit today. there was a new girl. she was making a big deal about getting a uniform. as if she didn't know. that loser. anyways, she goes : "oh my god...it's a kilt? do i get one of those furry things? " it was pretty funny, actually. why do we have so many new kids suddenly? i mean aside from the gr.9's.

not knowing where to start organizing a campaign is frustrating me. i don't really care about organizing anything anymore. i just want to be involved, in a major way. i feel bad if i wait or think i can't do anything until i'm older. ag, but it's the way i'm thinking. too overwhelming...

i mentioned a few days ago that i went to Cirque Du Soleil with mama. andrew didnt' want to go, so he hung out at the Ex while we were away. later, he told me how he was sitting on a bench, and there was a girl beside him, with whom he supposed was her boyfriend. the girl was talking about how she was scared about going to OSCSS next semester!!! the banger is that she had already bought the chem and bio texts, and was planning on getting an english text so that she would be ahead for both semesters. geez...and she's still scared?! god, i haven't done anything except whine about dumb guy non-troubles and eat watermelons. well...we'll see whose study plan works out the best. no, it made me worried, but andrew said that that girl was overreacting, and that it wasn't necessary or anything. which made me feel better. of course, andy-boy didn't talk to the girl at all, nor find out her name. he said she was brunette (ok...) was talk-y (hmm) and had a black boyfriend. so i'll look out for anyone like that next week. god, school starts in a week! but no talk of such horrible inventions.

i was going to say that that girl had an african-american boyfriend, but is that totally politically correct? i honestly have no idea, but what about jamaicans? this is one for julia and her frustratingly annoying and righteous queen's enrichement class.

i'm weird. i always wait for other people to start convos with me on MSN. even if i want to talk to them. is that something i should look into? hmm...

hmm...

i was going over my blog and i just realized that i used to have the same hair as He-Man, from grade 1 to 4. coincidence? i think not! (wait a minute...that's not a good thing!)

i wish i had a picture for comparison's sake....hmm maybe someday i'll find one and post it up.

i want to organize something like a campaign in school or community for a human rights issue. any one, there are so many. it's overwhelming. but i don't know where to start, or what to do, and how to get interest. it's always been so hard to get people interested, and even harder to keep them involved. i can't come up with anything. it's too easy to alienate people or to turn them off from the causes. i've pratically given up before i've started. but i've wanted to do something like this for so long...

oriantino and i decided that everything should end with an explosion, or fireworks. just like they do in the movies. life should be more like the movies sometimes.

oh, my soccer team had it's last game today. we won 8-4. kind of cool. mike called this morning, when i was still sleeping. i haven't returned it, and i don't think i will. i don't like talking on the phone just to chat. i think it's up there with my wariness of being alone with people. groups of 3 or more please! friends think that's weird. i spose it is. ah vell.

josie called to. which is good! thursday is gonna be fun. i don't care how the party goes, i just feel like hanging out. i don't really want to go party, but i'll feel like i missed out if i don't at least show up.

oriantino says she has a good-bye gift for me. a book. but what kind of book? she says. i bet it's a funny one. she pulled a muscle de l'estomach by dropping a fan on it. hahaha poor shanana. ooo! rhymes!

i told sharon that my mom said we'd go to michigan this summer, since we had relatives to visit, and she has friends there too. then sharon said that "i know why you're really going. but don't worry, you me and alex 'll go out someplace fun". or something like that. implying i was only going to see alex or something. i dunno what i think about that. good and bad. but it doesn't matter either way. i want to see everyone again, just to see. hopefully i can get becky, tara, and some people from ontario to come down with me. then it'd be like a real reunion ... somewhat. since sharon told me what she found out, i got all fuddy duddy about it. i didn't even think about it since the trip, but now it bugs me, and i want to know more. well...maybe not so much anymore, since it looks like i won't find out more. plus it's old news to everyone else, and they won't want to talk about it. ah well. yet another problem that's not really a problem.

andrew was being mean today. i think he's getting all his rage out on me while he can. well he wasn't really mean. he flicked me with rubber bands a few times, and it really hurt. he didn't believe me, so he did it to himself to see. yeah, he found out it hurt. and he felt sorry. he's always sorry. he doesn't mean it though. it's like a running joke with us. then later i was working on charts for my mom and he came by and dropped a load of files on my foot. i got mad, and he said sorry. but it was obvious he didn't mean to hit my foot, since he nearly missed. then today we almost got in a fight when rosco kept flying to him and pushing papers off his desk. i was sort of supposed to keep rosco away from him but it's a friggin' bird, so there's nothing you can do about it. then andrew got mad when i didn't care, and when i finally got rosco, i was trying to get him to go on andrew's shoulder. but andrew started to push me away, and then i got kind of mad. then it got funny when we were yelling at each other (just yells. no words), and i was threatening him with a bird, and he was threatening me with some plastic He-Man sword we played with when we were younger.(not only is he a man! he's a He-Man!)

zap!

the vice from OSCSS called me the other day to ask if i had any dietary requirements. andrew thought i was out, but i wasn't. so i ended up calling her back, and got her machine. this is what happened:

me: "hi this is stephanie calling back from when you called me just now. ummm so i heard you wanted to know if i had any....any.....special....um....*andrew yells: DIETARY NEEDS* dietary...thingies. but i don't! so that's okay. anyways, you can call me back if you want. for whatever. kay, bye!"

AAAGH. i sounded like such a valley girl, and i even giggled halfway though. it's funny because now they probably think they got the wrong number, since they were expecting me to be smart. hahaha too bad for them. heh

kaboom! <--- dedicated to shanana

in-town boys suck.

"i'm glad i'm not a boy / being her little mind-toy"

weird song. the artist was my art teacher, mrs.reed. i hear her husband wrote it though...hmm

for some reason, muchmusic has been playing some really good bands lately. i like! they're all new too, which is cool too. one (lindy) is even a t.o. band. which i guess isn't a big deal now a days, but it still is to me. that site is frustrating. you'll see why if you stay there long enough, and look around a bit. i'd name some other bands i've "discovered" but i don't think anyone bothers to download 'em anyways, so i'll keep 'em to myself until they become famous. then i pertend to be outraged whenever someone else says they like them too. hmm that sounded too realistic. more than i wanted it to..

i just ate some really good watermelon. but my fingers are sticky now. you'd think i'd go wash 'em. obviously you don't know me well enough. oh man, this summer really has been bad to me. at least in the hygenic sence. i take that back. it makes me sound too gross.

i heard about a "secret" shoebox chris has hidden in his old room somewhere. in it is a bunch of stuff that he kept from when he was dating Tammy. *shudder*. i have no idea how he could have standed that girl. to call her annoying wouldn't be good enough. she's like...sitting in a room with nick "slick nick" brake with nothing to do, after he's eaten ten buckets of sugar, while being clubbed with inflatable hammers by five year olds. no, that's too good. okay, she's bad. so anyways, instead of finding the shoebox, i found his old journal from two years ago, when he was a big bitch-ass. seriously, he was such a fucking jerk back then, it wasn't funny. it was really really weird though, finding out stuff about him. like how he thought he was in love with Tammy and thought that they had a chance to marry someday (oh god! kill me now!). he talked about other stuff, like how at one show he saw a really really hot girl, and how she was better than perfect. it was sort of funny to see him go on for at least 2 pages about how hot she was. but then again, it was sort of sad to see him go on for at least 2 pages about how hot she was. for some weird reason, i'd always assumed my brothers didn't check girls out, nor think about sex. it was just...i dunno. i always thought they were different. i guess it's because i never talk(ed) to them about stuff like that. plus i probably never wanted to think about them and sex in the same thought. too many things that are wrong with that. anyways, at least near the end of the journal, you could see how he realized how dumb he was in the beginning of it. damn, he was such an asshole back then, i get mad just thinking about it. he's had some pretty weird girlfriends along the way...there was Carrie, who was jealous of me and my swimming times, which was retarded. it was so obvious, it was sad. and it wasn't even anything worth getting mad about. she was a loser for a long time, but by the time i'd came to high school, some of my classmates were like, "man, she's so hot! she's really cool." (*hahaha. she's hot. she's cool. geez, make up your minds.) and i'd just back off and shake my head. once, at swimming, we were all out on deck after practice while our coach was talking to us. then someone noticed a weird yellow-ish stain on the tiles that Carrie was standing on. it was funny. she's like "oh mother-of-pearl, it's not me!!". but what else would it be?!

another thing i didn't know about chris, is how he got asked to his prom a bunch of times. i mean, once was a shocker, but a bunch of times? geez, why?!

today was fucked up in a couple of ways. let me explain...

first of all, the whole idea to fit in as much "hanging out" as we can before the end of summer. it's not working out so well. emma says her ego is still hurt after being ignored at the last party (i dunno...i don't get it either.) so she's gonna get back at all of them by not going. i was gonna say, "but they won't notice..." but i don't thinkthat would help at all. anyways, carson seems to want a lot of people to go or something. he emailed me a bunch of times to make sure i'm going to call friends. honestly, i don't really want to go. i don't care either way. parties are usually lame, unless there's people to meet, or if there's someone you're interested in. *new years comes to mind. i'll get to that in a minute...*. so same thing with dances. probbaly why i never go to either anymore. i'll be sitting at home, and andrew's friends will walk in. they all think i'm anti-social or something, because i'm never out. meanwhile, my mom thinks i'm a big fay leui (literally: fly girl. actually means a bad girl who'se always partying and getting in trouble) so it's lose-lose. so i don't bother. anyhoo, i'm sidetracked. yeah, so shannon and jo won't mind going, i don't think, even though we never really do anything. actually, now that i think of it, i haven't ever partied with them! melissa's doesn't count. that was just super-lame. even more lame than saying "super-lame". sooo anyways....yes. julie said she probably wasn't going to the party. suprise suprise!!! i mean, really. maybe she's gonna really try to get over aaron?? i hope so. then we'll have more to talk about when we talk. just kidding. she's great. so yes. anyways, victoria knows about the party, but i haven't talked to her. and it's either her or shannon, so i'll choose shannon. hehehe....hi shananna

plus this all goes to hell if jo can't get the car for thurs evening. maybe we'll just go to the movies or something. it's lame because the crowd who goes partying at these parties...i don't really talk to them. so i go to the party, and then it's boring because i don't have much to say to some of them. a lot of them are really fake or boring. it's aggrivating. hahaha usually they all end up watching tv or go looking for cows to tip. hahaha okay, that was just one time, and i was actually dissapointed that we didn't get to go cow-tipping. oh so sad...

saw kirk at soccer, which is nothing new. he tried to give me the finger, which is also nothing new. it's hilarious when he tries, cause i'll run away or something and he'll chase me. god that sounded quite stupid. did i really write that??? i don't know where the whole "try to give steph the finger" inside joke came from. waaay back when he was dating kassandra, pat thought that he liked me. i think i liked him too. well, doesn't matter anymore. i don't even know why i mentioned that...anyways, he'll say "hey steph!" and either wave, or give the finger. it sucks because he must have done it 50 times, and i've never came up with a good response. except to turn around or run away, which then he chases me and shoves his finger in my face. yes. this is all very intriguing. anyways, basically i was gonna talk about what happened at soccer tonight.

hey we won! 7-3. how cool is that!?! except i played like a bag of shit. ah well.

so anyhoo, i was walking towards the field, and i saw mike and some guy i don't know kicking around a ball. i was considering trying to walk by without him noticing, and to i dunno...act like i was looking for someone else, so he wouldn't see me. i know, i'm an idiot. i dunno why i was acting like that anyways. so he saw me, and so i went over and we kicked around the ball together. all three of us. the new guy's name is Trevor, and i suppose he knows mike, because they were acting like good friends. so mike was being really loud and it was weird, because all the times i hung out with him, he was really quiet. crap. andrew just started playing the drums. that fool. it's 12pm!! even though no one's sleeping...it's the principle of the matter, dammit! so back to soccer, i was kicking the ball and then adam walked by. he saw me and gave me a weird look that i couldn't figure out. he walked over to mike and they were talking but i couldn't hear what they were saying (not that i was trying to, of course...heheh) so i just kept kicking it with Trevor (haha "kicking it." ahh it's too late for me). so then they start laughing, and it looked like they were both looking at me, or pointing at me. i couldn't tell, since i was standing behind the crowd of parents and friends and other soccer players. i didn't even know those two were friends. so then adam walks away, and i hear him say something like "yeah i fucked her. like three times!!" then mike looked weird..i didn't figure that out either, and he sort of half-laughed. i don't think he was talking about me...for obvious reasons. but then after a while, and adam had left, i mentioned how i didn't know they knew each other. mike was like "yeah, well i heard you guys were seeing each other." (!!!!) and i said: "what?! we...wha...."(yes, very witty, i agree.) and mike went on: "yeah, ryan told me. youknow, after the new year's party...well... a little afterwards....you know....ryan....yeah.." i think i was making him nervous because he sort of trailed off and looked scared. lol i wish i knew what i looked like. anyways, i didn't even know what to say. i remember vaguely who ryan is. some guy who was at the new years party too, and was good friends with adam. but ryan and i never talked, and i've never seen him since new years. i mean...what the hell!!! this is the 2nd time this happened to me this summer. lol i'm getting more action sitting at home doing nothing than i've ever gotten. hahahahahhaa oh man, i'm funny.....to myself. so moving along, i wouldn't say that adam and i were seeing each other. this is what really happened. (*by the way, none of this matters anymore. but i got to tell someone! it's really fucking burning me up inside. blegh..lol "i've got to tell someone!" so i tell my computer. yes, i am a grade A super-nerd.)

before New years, pat (aka the self-proclaimed "masturbation king") had told me all about this mike guy, and i had seen him at previous summers. i got like....umm....interested (my friends would say obsessive hahaha) and so i got friends of friends of friends of friends of friends to tell me stuff about him. that was over 2 years ago. then pat got a job where mike worked, and they were talking. mike had a gf who was crappy, i suppose, and pat was trying to set us up. damn. that sounds worse when i write it out. oh well. so mike and i see each other once in a whiles which feeds my... interest. lol. pat still trying to set us up. then fastforward a few years, and pat brings mike to a new years party. apparantly, mike and his gf are nearly broken up (they broke up the next week or something) and so at the party, pat tosses us together, and blah blah. it was really awkward. he was quiet because he didn't know anyone, and pat had dissapeared. thank god julie was there. that would have been horrible if it weren't for her. anyways, we were sitting around a tv (of course. goddamn high school parties.) and i had pretty much decided the party was sucking, until adam comes up, stoned beyond belief, and drunk out of his mind. he starts hitting on some girls, and he couldn't even stand up. he was dragging himself across the floor. it made the party a lot more funny. so then, after that i was talking to pat about mike, and i said that he had a gf, and it would be lame to try to do anything, plus i didn't really care if anything happend or not. so pat wanted to give me his addy, but i said no, because i'd had enough of stalking. so we started talking about adam and his friends, who i'd met for the first time that night. pat is all about friends, so he was going on about those guys, and how they do drive-by moonings and great stuff like that. anyways, after a lot of uninteresting (now) conversation, he ended up giving adam my email address. i didn't care, since i didn't think adam would remember me anyways. which...would probably make you think that i would care. hmm...yeah, i can be an idiot sometimes. i've mentioned it before. so anyways, we talk. i think adam thought i liked him. i think i liked the attention. how dumb of me. adam said we should go do something, and i say i'm busy, and my mom would freak (yay!) and so he's like ok, well there's this other girl i like, and if nothing's gonna happen here, then i think i'll move on. i say, go ahead, this is good! and he say ok, talk to you later! and that was it. we never went on a date, or even hung out after new years. and yet we were "seeing" each other. i was really flustered.

i hate liars. damn i hate them so much!

duey was at the soccer game and he showed me the guy who shawn said i was dating. it was the nastiest, crustiest guy ever! he had the whole crustachi-o goatee thing going on. i'd never seen him before. i said that i was mad at duey and shawn. duey said that it was all shawn, and it wasn't like they were walking down a street with a big sign. (hmm...but how can i tell for sure??? lol). then i was ok, but just dissapointd that if i was to have an imaginary boyfriend, he should at least be hot. no, i was joking though. at least it wasn't chris after all. all that bitching and whining for nothing. i'm just really confused now. but shawn is a jackass. no use trying to figure those ones out. i wonder if he still looks like a wrestler? hahaha his neck blends into his head. he's a thumb!

hahahaha i just confessed to julie how i can't stand her sister. it made her really happy, which made me very happy. ahhh what a great relief. hehehe it is fun to diss people. crap. i promised myself i'd never do that again...oh well.

click here. it's funny. to shannon: turn down the volume first!

there's this better than ezra song that goes, "three and a half minutes...felt like a lifetime". andrew keeps singing, "me and a half penis....felt like a lifetime". my mom was like "PENIS??!!!!" she was so shocked that we knew what it meant. then we were being asses, and asking her dumb questions to try to shock her more. ones like, "hey mom, how many times have you stuck your finger up a guy's ass?" she's like, "THOUSANDS." don't think anything of it. she's a doctor, and has been for over 25 years. she can be so naive though...like this one time a patient of hers was telling her how she thought she might have gotten aids from a blowjob, and my mom came home and had to ask us what a blow job was, since she didn't want to ask the patient and lose confidence. it was really really funny. but awkward beyond belief.

hmm that made andrew sound homosexual. ah well...too bad for him (not that there's anything wrong with it.)

Last year, i went to Yorkdale mall with Emma, Josie and Shannon. we had reservations for the Rainforest Café, but we had an extra half hour to kill. so we went to some coffee pub and got drinks. shannon didn't know what an expresso was, but she got one anyways, to see. when it came, she's like "why's the cup soo small?!" then she drank some, and she started being really really jittery. her limbs started shaking on their own, and she had a big headache. it was funny. poor oriantino. we were just talking about that.

yet another 3 hour long meal with relatives. which wasn't so bad, actually. me and my brothers made do. we made fun of chris' air guitar and air drum playing with our "air flute" and "air violin" playing. try to picture it... the whole air instrument idea is retarded. back when i was getting ready for my piano exam, i'd play the song out without the piano, whenever i could, just to practice. hey, air piano!

yesterday shannon and i changed our online names so that she was "stephanie" and i was "shanana". then we started a convo with julia, and she didn't notice. it was hilarious, she was so clueless. it was really funny seeing how she thought i talked though. her first few lines were:

"aieee!"
"waza wazoo"
"ah shit! rosco just crapped on my head!"

my favourite was...
julia: "poophead."
"stephanie" : "i'll show YOU poophead!.....literally."

what the fuck??! hahaha it was great. if julia's reading this, this'll be how she finds out. hehehe

my mom was putting on her shoes and i gave her a wedgie. she almost fell down. damn, my family is so dysfunctional! well, just me and brothers. i dunno how my mom could have taken it for so long.

i hate when we get cake. only because whenever we serve it, andrew and chris will pronounce cake like cock. my mom doesn't notice, of course, and neither does anyone else in the house (usually company). so they'll be like, "damn good cake today! hey maimai! want some cake??" and so on.. you'd think that being guys, they'd try to avoid any hinting of being gay or something. but i guess they're not like that. nor "like that" either. it becomes unbearable when a guest will say "some here, please!"

mark is home for tonight. i don't know why. i didn't even know he was coming home until i came downstairs and he ran at me from the shadows. they just found my G1 photo, that finally came in today. mark laughed and noticed that i'm wearing the same shirt right now as i am in the picture (which shouldn't sound pathetic, but somehow it does), andrew went on and on about how one side of my face looks totally demented, and the other side looks normal. "you look like you were just beaten up!". then my mom said "oh, it looks just like you!!". aaaahhhhhgg...i agree though. with all of it. i dunno why, but i'm extremely NOT photogenic. it's a disease!!

remember when chris and andrew's band "fully clothed men" went on Jonovision?? haha that was cool. they should have gone further than they did. wow, i just found out there's like, 9 other bands named "fully clothed men." that sucks.

i got a haircut today. i told my hairdresser to do add bangs and to cut it shorter, but he did what he thought would look better instead. which i'm glad for. it was funny at one point because i asked him to cut one part shorter, and he refused. he scares me though, because he has crazy-eyes and bad hair. (they always say to go to the one with the bad hair). it basically looks the same now, but without the mullet extension that was left over from my "growing my hair out" stint.

i have a soccer game tomorrow. i bet we'll lose 1-0. you know it's bad when your coach tells your team that "you guys are destined to lose. don't worry about it". julia said something weird about will. i want to ask her about it. i was tying my shoe during the game last time, and so i guess my ass was sticking out in the air. we were playing christina's team, and she was behind me somewhere, so when i heard someone yell "nice ass" i thought it was her. i mooned her, and then i heard will call me a tease. goddamit, it was him all along. christina saw though, and gave me a hard time about it. that game was intense though. tina's team has 3 siblings on it. and some guy on my team knocked down the sister, and accidentally stepped on her hair. she stayed down, and was crying. the ref didn't call anything because he was waiting for my team to kick the ball out to stop the play. which for weird reasons, took a really long time. anyways, the brother freaked out and yelled "what the fuck! stop the fucking play! why won't you fucking call it, ref?!!?" he just flipped out at the ref. then their coach screamed "you shut your damn mouth, boy!" and ran at his player. then the other brother ran up to the first brother and tried to cover his mouth. literally. this made things worse, and the two brothers started fighting. all this time the sister is still on the ground crying, and christina and i are laughing our asses off. she doesn't give two shits about anyone on her team, it's great.

ooo! carson listens to collective soul too! too bad they suck now.

i was listening to "rivers" by sugar ray w/ weezer, and mark heard it. i think he was shocked that there's a weezer song out there he hasn't heard. honestly, so am i.

went to cirque du soleil yesterday. it was really cool.

damn you shannon paxton! damn you julia and your evil emo-turning ways! damn all you emo punks out there!! you guys suck!

andrew told me today that i had really defined forearms. i never thought they were overly defined or anything. at least, not anything to comment on. then i remember a time i was shopping with my dad, and he kept commenting on how broad-shouldered i am, and that "yeah, it'll be a little tough to find clothes that suit your athletic build, but that's what's gonna be trendy soon, don't worry!"

i wasn't even worrying. i'd never noticed before. meh guys are so superficial. hahahahaha

andrew is such a turd!

today when i opened up my young driver's booklet, someone had written "I LOVE BOOBIES" on the page. i immediately glared at the guy sitting to my right, since i figured that was the only way it could have gotten there. i kept staring at him, until he noticed and glanced at me, got scared, then stared straight ahead. THEN i noticed he was holding a pen, and the message was written in pencil. so i felt really bad for him, he was obvioulsy younger than me.

suddenly i thought , " oh dammit, what if he thinks i'm the one who wrote it, and i'm just worried he saw it?? " so i tried to cover it up. and scribbled over it with my pen. later, i turned the page, and yet again...I LOVE BOOBIES. i turned it again, I LOVE BOOBIES. again, and it didn't say i love boobies. instead, it was "I, Stephanie Sun, hereby declare my utter devotion to BOOBIES!!!!! signed, Stephanie Sun." the next few pages were back to I LOVE BOOBIES and there was one that said "I LOVE BOOBIES!! (especially the squishy ones), but then the last page said, *(this is the funniest one) "Stephanie Sun loves the knockers, ta-tas, thelma and louises, twins, mammaries, chest protrusions, human udders, boobs, boobies etc etc.."

obviously, it was andrew. he was getting me back for all the times he would be working on an essay on the computer, then he'd go to get a snack, and i'd run over and type in "poopers" or something like that. he'd then continue to type when he got back, and i wouldn't tell him until he was about to print. then he'd get all suspicious and he'd carefully read over his entire report. which was very funny.
i think his pencilcase still says "i loves de mens" with the little drawing of a rainbow on it. that was moi. thank you, thank you...

hahaha

i went to the locks today with my grandparents, mom, and tita. i've never been there, which is crazy since i've lived here all my life. anyways, it was a lot better than i thought it'd be. really clean. and i went into the visitor's centre, ( i know! a visitor's centre in T-town!) and they had some displays set up. one was a big model of the Trent-Severn Waterway and it had 3 phones. they were labeled, "for cars", "for boaters" and "for kids". i picked up the one for kids and pushed the start button. it was amazing, cheesy music started playing, and it played a rap about the waterway. the first few lines were like...

Yeah, Yeah, Common' Down to the Trent-Severn
Once You're Here, It'll Feel like Heaven.

i couldn't stop laughing. the fact that someone has rapped about Ttown makes me so proud of this place.

the huge sign on the bridge looks cool too. i like.

Chris (the YD cartoonist) has been bothering the crap out of me since i got that vibe. it sucks because it's like, if he acts nice or friendly to me, i'll dislike him more, only because i know he has a thing or whatever. i can't help it though. i hate when people get the wrong impressions. so i was being sort of bitchy all day today, at YD, and i was following justin around so that it wouldn't end up that i was only walking with Chris, and people would think that there was something going on. (damn you Duey and Shawn. you two are fucking idiots.) so anyways, during our first break in class at about 10:30, he asked if i wanted to go to the movies sometime. "my treat!" he said. god, can that guy not read body language?!? i wasn't even looking at him, and i was leaning as far away from him as possible, without going through the wall. it sucked even more because there were still people just sitting around in class, and it was dead silent. so everyone heard him ask. and they all heard me say no too. i felt bad, but i think it turned out half-decent because i said i would be busy because of moving into T.O. aagh. plus i had to sit with him for the rest of the day. i'm being really immature about it, but i can't stand him now. you have no idea how glad i am that it was the last day of YD.
when he asked me what my last name was, i didn't want to tell him. i got all paranoid that he'd be a stalker or something. he looks like he'd be one. i even told him that. hahahhha it was funny. but he didn't care, i don't think.

anywho, everything ended well. and i've changed my opinion on Ttown. it's a great place , but too bad it's full of freaky people.

my uncle is from toronto. and obviously, so is his son. for some reason, that family (umm...that intermediate family) thinks there's some horrible thing wrong with small towns. we'll be like "b-ville is nicer that Ttown" (haha we don't really talk like that...) and he'll be like "yeah, it's because it's got a higher population." wtf?! why would that even be a factor? so once jeff (a cousin) saw a truck with a big sticker that said "LOCO MOTION" on it. he goes, "is that some small town thing or something?" GGAAH. i'm sure no one in toronto would do that. jesus! and not just that. i was talking about how i'm nervous about going to OSCSS, and jeff says "yeah, it's because you're coming from such a tiny town to a big city, right?" it's so aggrivating. he acts as if i've never seen more than 100 people at once, and that i've never been to toronto. god, when he told me that, i was IN toronto!! he's been away, so i've been in T.O. longer than him this year. we took them to Lake On A Mountain (exactly that. a lake on a mountain, that's right beside Lake Ontario) and they're like "oh, we've seen this before. you can see this anywhere in ontario." my ass they've seen it before. and we were busting OUR asses trying to entertain them, and they were being total jackshits.
"so what's there to do in Trenton?"
"umm..there's a really cheap theatre."
"yeah, but it's probably bad right? right?...yeah, it's bad i bet."
i felt like slapping him. i got so defensive, it was almost embarassing. fucking GOD. they would pay a fortune to get a view like the one you can find anywhere in trenton, but they're trying to play off any positive emotion.

agh. i wouldn't care so much if my mom didn't make me make sure they had fun. jesus. i'm so fucking tired. but i can't sleep because Rosco keeps squaking and screaming to get out of his cage. i fell asleep at 2 last night, and woke up at 6 because rosco was squaking, and his cage is right across from my door. bitch bitch bitch.

my team is playing mike's team next week. i hope he doesn't show up. that would be so awkward. he actually came to my game earlier this week because he had to play after mine was over. he yelled hi at pat, and i felt weird that he was watching. maybe he didn't see me...i think i heard him say something while i ran past him though. maybe i didn't actually. then i left asap once the game was over. i felt like people thought i was being bitchy because i didn't go over to say hi when all of them gathered in a big group. how lame is that?!

i feel bad for julie. she's in a predicament. she needs better friends too. aaron is a loser and a creep. she can do better.
goddamn! i can't get over what Duey and Shawn told Pat. i bet they toldother people too, because julie asked me why i was holding out on her as in "details". seriously, they need lives. fuck. and CHRIS, of all people. they said he was wearing a beret too. hahahaha god. gaaa i'm gonna be glad to never see chris again. hehe i bet one day he'll see emma or victoria and he'll think they're me. that'll be funny.

ooo julie said there's a new kid coming to our school next year. and he's going into our grade, even! he's from mexico, and has "A cute accent. he's alright looking too". we're gonna set him up with Josie, and then they can go and make hot, wild, mad love. (<--as josie would say. that tramp. lol). no, that would be freaky if all this even worked out. the only set-up that's ever worked was the one with Emma and Carson. but since they broke up, that didn't really work out, did it? hmm....oh well. it's more funny because josie knows what we're trying to do. she acts like she doesn't want us to, but it's obvious she does. except i'm not really doing anything, but i'll take the credit anyways. yuk yuk yuk

my mom's at the office right now. she wants me to go into the basement and make boxes. seriously. she says that's all she wants me to do, but i'm onto her tricks!! she'll make me fold a hundred boxes, then fill them with files.

whoa, suddenly this weird smell came over my house. it was like...raw dough or something. but no one's making anything!! pillsbury doughboy haunting!!!

...

man, i never knew this bugged me this much, until i found out more about it. i don't know if i'd rather have known, or not known. i guess i would have rather known. but it just sucks. i didn't even care in the beginning. agh. i wanna run through shannon's closet and steal her clothes.

shannon is to american eagle clothes
as steph is to jacob clothing stores

i ripped a hole in my jacob sweater. which stinks. and is also very uninteresting. mmmm!

i think i'm the only person in the world who doesn't think "Hanging By a Moment" by Lifehouse was overplayed. i think they should have played it more! isn't that sad?? hahaha

where have all the emails gone?

julia : neither. it's "Pink Moon" by Nick Drake.

Come get your fortune read!

Created by ptocheia

so true...

aw julie and i had a good talk. everything's patched up.

*sigh*
i'm so self-satisfied, it's almost disgusting.

ew, that didn't sound right.

wait a minute, what if i'm the only one who thought that, and now they all think i'm a big perv?

wait, now they think i'm obsessive too!!

aaagh!!!!*fades into the distance*

does anyone else think it's weird how Bush is looking for war? it's like it's a goal that needs to be achieved; something to be remembered by. as if by creating tensions in international relations, he'll raise his approval rating?! he didn't give iraq a chance in avoiding war when they invited them to check 'em out, (i know that would seem stupid in the first place, but war should be a last resort, not a plan), and how the hell do you have a "war on terrorism"?! that's like saying "we're going to war against anyone who is unhappy". okay, it's not really the same. but it seems like they're not even trying to figure out why they are so insane on killing Americans. they'll dig a little, then assume the rest. you can only feed a whole country a load of bullshit for only so long.

remember how before sept.11, it was all about the spy plane and china? i mean, they were totally using propaganda and everything. in the movies, everywhere! it was disgusting. it's worse cause i probably wouldn't have noticed if it wasn't china that was involved. probably...

anyways, i'm not bashing everything and all the changed since sept.11, and i'm not a bush-hater or anything. it just fuckin' pisses me off how people can be so blinded by patriotism, or so fucking ignorant.

this all came from the people at the restauraunt i ate at with my relatives, who i could over hear talking about us. well, not us. about "those orientals". fucking assholes. whatever. if their idea of status is how long your family has lived in a country, i bet mine has lived here as long as theirs has. jesus!! they're immigrants too! AGGGH.

i was watching this earlier tonight. it was cool, the doctor was amazing!

i couldn't sleep last night, or the night before. just have things on my mind. good things though. this summer was pretty good, and i'm pretty suprised me and my friends got together more than once. we're all so damn lazy. not organizing sort of people. i keep thinking about funny things that have happened, so i'm in a pretty good mood lately, which makes my family suspicious. no, i kid, i kid ( hahaha, anyone who knows where that's from is fun fun. )

i had my last piano/music history lesson yesterday. at least for a while. anyways, that reminded me of the first time i had a music history lesson, and we were learning about how certain instruments work. so we had finished the harpsicord, and we were on the clavicord. it's a little awkward because i'm the only one there (as always) so while i copy notes, my teacher just dictates and watches me write. so it's really quiet at times. anyways, she said that a clavicord is pretty much like a harpsicord in sound and make, except that it's range is from "p, to pp". (think about it.) i almost friggin' exploded, it was insane! the class is sooo boring that anything seems funny. not only that but i had to write that out too. and i kept dwelling on it in my mind, so i was trying so hard to keep it in. instead i made a weird face, it was all contorted and i made a weird "mmmph" sound too. then i tried to play it off by acting like i had to sneeze, which made it worse. THEN, later we were talking about how to describe music exerpts with big fancy music words, and there was a list of three:

monophonic
polyphonic and of course,
homophonic.
i bet everyone knows where this is going.
so anyways, she was trying to explain it to me, and she asked me what "mono" means. which was mildly funny but i gave the normal answer. then she asked what poly means, and same thing. by now i knew this was coming, and i was trying to get ready to not laugh. ie: just stare at her forehead. so she probably knew what i was thinking so she tried to mix it up. she goes, "so, do you know any words that also have a homo in it?". she didn't give me a chance to answer. "homogeneous milk, of course!" "ohh yeaah...". i managed not to make any weird faces or sounds that time.

yes, it was all very mature and sophisticated. i put the ass in class.

i told andrew about it later and he said that he did the exact same thing, at the exact same parts. i bet every music history student in the history of music history has.

i saw shan my man (figuratively) at mcdonalds today. she looked different. i laughed. then stared at her ("maybe if i stare hard enough, she'll notice me...". and waited till i was at the front of the line to yell at her from a till over.

jacob is funny. hi jake!

pat is dumb for listening to duey and shawn. duey and shawn saw me walking to macdonalds with that creepy guy who draws cartoons in YD and they assumed (assume = ass out of u and me) we were gf / bf. fuckin' jackasses. what the fuck do they know. a girl walks 50m with a guy, and suddenly they're dating. and fucking DUEY and SHAWN?!?!?! i mean, where the hell did THEY come from??! when did they talk to Pat??! WHY did they feel like they would have to tell pat?! and what the hell does pat care?! he's like:

Flawed Perfection says:
i jsut heard u did and was wondering why i never heard about it
Flawed Perfection says:
that hurts

he says, "well, we used to be best friends, you know" a lot. he acts as if i dissed him and stopped wanting to be best friends. which is semi-true. tough to explain. so i won't. hi pat! hope you're not reading this!

ah well..
saw

Will!! that's what everyone calls the tall-french-new-soccer-guy!

my gramma had another nightmare last night. it was really scary. she screamed in the middle of the night and then started whimpering. i feel so bad for her. my mom suspects it might be a parkinson's side effect, since she has non-stop nightmares every night. i wish i could do something about it.

fucking god. i can't think straight . my family thinks i'm on crack (seriously, my mom asked me if i was. then when i got offended, she acted like she was joking. thanks ma!) because i keep laughing to myself. ai-yah. plus she showed me the pictures from that gardening afternoon with her friend, teresa, andrew, and of course, the richard. hahahaha that day was so messed...i try not to think about it, because it makes me feel dumb. hard to explain, but i bet everyone knows what i mean.

God Save the King of New Orleans.

holy fucking shit!!! i can't fucking believe what i just found out. jesus christ....i'd probably write it out, but then i'd feel like a big lame-ass for writing it out. i'd be like Felicity and that stupid microtape.

ahhhhg! at least i feel better now. and even..a little....randy....lol, don't listen to anything i'm saying, i'm just trying to mess everyone up.
but really, i do feel better since my team lost, yet again. but the score was only 1-0 (yet again!! i mean, wtf?!). ahhh.

on totally unrelated stuff, Andrew finally saw me play some soccer. i always try to get him to watch me so he can tell me an honest, educated opinion on how i play. here's what he said (and so you know, this is totally for my own ego's benefit. bragging rights, you know.):
"well, your ball-handling sucks, but you're a good passer. you play like me!"
"what?! i always thought my ball-handling was good, and my passing sucked....ohhhhhh"

me:" so.....say.....how good am i from one to ten?" *see? i totally milk these forced compliment dealies*
"out of girls?"
"yeah"
"out of girls, out of trenton?" *he knows what i'm doing, and he's trying to ease me down slowly or something.*
"yeee-eess!!"
"mm...a nine."
"coo coo, i'm amazing!"
"wait. eight and a half."
dammit.

why does eight and a half sound so much worse than nine? and why am i still talking about this? ahhh....mysteries of life...

if you giggled everytime i wrote "ball-handling", you've got my kind of humour. (sad, isn't it? haha)

oh yeah, and another soccer thing. sometimes in House League, new players get added in halfway through the season because other players never show up. so i stopped going to a lot of games for a while (almost more than half, to be exact) and then i started just now, showing up to the playoffs. and so during the first warm up, i see this new guy, and i'm like "hey! you're new, aren't you?" meanwhile, he's probably been to more games than me, and he's never seen me before! but it's cool, because it turns out he's really nice. i forget his name already. i'm so bad with names, i'm only good at faces. so anyways, if you want a mental pic, he's tall, and french. okay, that wasn't so good. he goes to marc garneau, so julia might know him. he doesn't have an accent or anything, but when he calls for this other guy (also french) to pass, he's like "'stin! 'stin!" instead of "justin". it's funny. fun fun fun. ahh someone slap me.

Which Weezer Song are You?

kudos to julia for the quiz

i found an empty molson canadian bottle in the kitchen. it was the one that emma gave me last year. i was going to dress it up in a powder blue tuxedo and give it to mel as a semi-date, as a birthday present. inside joke, obviously.

so it turns out my uncle drank it, and it's "best before" date was SEPTEMBER LAST YEAR! imagine how much it must have fermented!!!! ieee...talk about "asian heat". (asians have low alcohol tolerance, so they turn red faster than any other culture).

Chris, from the Young Drivers course drew me a cartoon today. then he wrote, "boring class. but it was nice meeting you!". it's kind of odd, since we're only halfway through, but oh well. andrew saw it when he picked me up, and when he realized it was a guy who wrote it, he asked me why i haven't thrown it out yet. now he thinks i like chris since i didn't throw it out right away. just to prove i don't, i was about to, but then i figured it didn't matter what i did, since andrew would think whatever he wanted to. so it's in my room. i don't know what to do with it though. put it in my "old stuff" box, i guess.

There's this kid in the YD course who goes to THS, and he was wearing a Millencolin shirt today. i asked if he knew Devon since she goes to THS, and she's into Millencolin too. he's like, "yeah, she's a poser." i thought that was hilarious cause she's always going on about posers. (right devon?yeah, sure.) anyways, turns out devon used to be in all his classes, but they've never talked before. he was just trying to make himself look cool. people make me feel sad sometimes.

i finally got my report card today, but nothing interesting there. i saw a few people who i haven't seen since school ended, and it made me feel depressed that i had to go back to school with them. i used to think there was something wrong with my thinking, since out of my whole school, there were only about 6 people who i honestly liked being around. but now i've changed my mind. mostly because of the people i've met this summer, i suppose. it doesn't really matter anyways. I mean, Chris (the brother, this time) was arguably the most anti-social person alive, but now on looking back, you can tell it was only because he didn't want to talk to any of the people he knew. sad, yes. but he's pretty different now. in a good way.

i've heard some disturbing news about julie. how can she be so fake?! ugh. she needs help.

just came back from my first 6hour young driver's course. it's not as bad as everyone said it'd be. the instructor is funny, and whenever somone drops a pencil or a paper, he yells "BOOM!". it's just really redundant sometimes. the material i mean.

i'm in the second row though, and there's these two kids in front of me, and they are so friggin' horney. it's annoying because i have to look at them to look at the instructor and the tvscreen. they just met today, and by lunchtime theywere making out and holding hands. by thursday, i can see a baby, and by friday, it'll be divorce.

geez, kids these days, they're so fast.

i saw the face of this girl who'se party i was going to go to. i didn't know her, but i hear the party was huge. i met a few new people, which is alright. justin and this other girl from school were there too. justin's cool to talk to, but it always ends up that i always start the convos and ask the questions, so it's tiring and i don't want to end up bugging him. this guy who keeps drawing cartoons and i went to macdonalds to see if anyone i knew was working, but no one was, except kurt. he saw me, and i saw him, then we both acted like we didn't see each other. i guess that's what barely-aquaintances do.

a direct quote from Andrew's engineering handbook (written by engineering students, and given out to every new engineering student):

Some Cheers you'll need to know...

rah-rah-ree!
kick 'em in the knee!
rah-rah-rut!
kick 'em in the other knee!

*more beer, mo-ore beer, more beer, more beer.
more beer, mo-ore beer, more beeeeeeer!
more be-ee-eee-e-ee-eeeee-er, more beer, mo-ore beer, more beeeee-eeer.

*sung to the tune of amazing grace

I am a Gauntlet Adventurer. I strive to improve my living conditions by hoarding gold, food, and sometimes keys and potions. I love adventure, fighting, and particularly winning - especially when there's a prize at stake. I occasionally get lost inside buildings and can't find the exit. I need food badly. What Video Game Character Are You?

hahaha

tumble in the weed.

hahaha i was just thinking of how my mom was boppin' away to bob dylan. she's so cute and funny. i even heard her cheer once. but she was trying to disguise it. at one point she was singing to a song she didn't know the words to, plus it's friggin' bob dylan, so it was hilarious to hear the lines she was making up.

"like a tumble...in the weeeed!! it'll take a little .... mangled in a shoe!"

but i would give it all away if i could / see you on that day again / where you threw the coffee at the manager jerks

i nearly never talk to david, he usually just talks to my brothers, but today at the barbeque we talked for most of the time. not really about anything, but it was almost disturbing how we kept saying things at the same time, and making the same jokes. he's (i think...) 24 but he still looks anywhere from 19 to 23 (hahaha i dunno what i'm talking about). he's always got the coolest tshirts. i think i've mentioned that before. but anyways, he and sonya and his other cousin andrew would go to all these small club gigs together, and they'd usually get to meet the band and get to know them. it sounds cool, but he didn't act like it was a big deal. it's like how he was a Treble Charger groupie, and they sent him an xmas card, and they'd go hang out together, but not as extreme. so i told my gramma how i remembered our trip to china, and she smiled and laughed. it was a big thing to me because since she has parkinson's, she doesn't show that much emotion all the time, cause she's always really tired. it was important too since i told her i didn't remember going anywhere in china with her, back when i was little, and she seemed pretty dissapointed. i accidentally poured grape juice in my uncle's beer, which was funny. my family has such a weird sense of humour, but only when we're around each other. i can't stand reading anyone else's blogs anymore, i think i have to stop.and i mean it. besides, no one writes in a personal blog for other people's sakes. in the little bit of summer that's left, i had a sudden urge to read all the books i could. i never realized how many books i've started, but not finished. that sounds like something a psychiatrist would love to analyze.

this is fun fun fun.

more university talks with mom and family. david pointed out how everyone in the family is involved in Science, and somehow that made me want to do Law or something artsyfartsy. that's stupid though (to want to do it just to be different). i still don't know what i want to be anyways. i mean, last week i was convinced i wanted to be a farmer. and the two weeks before that, it was neuroscience. no, i lie. it's always neuroscience. i just hate knowing and having a life all planned out, because it usually doesn't work out that way (dissapointing) or it doesn't end up to be what you expected (wanted) it to be. course i'm going to have to get off my lazy yellow ass someday soon and make a decision.

north york aquatic club (trans: swim team) hasn't called back yet, those wet bastards. i always feel like i have something to prove with swimming. which is dumb for many reasons, among them is the fact that i don't even try to prove anything. on the dolphins (and probably with every other team), i remember how there'd be some swimmers who would show up to every practice as if it was no biggie. i can't stand not knowing how they can do that. going to practice was the worst thing ever, i hated going so much i was willing to hide in the changerooms to avoid it. course that didn't work out too well...

those swimmers who went weren't always the good ones either. they'd be the really crappy ones who didn't care where they went with it. i guess that's why it was easy for them; cause they didn't care. dammit, i'm so scared of failing sometimes...it can be sad.

i just decided that if i'm ever going to get a summer job, or any job while i'm still in school, it'll be teaching piano. that could be an excuse to not get a "real" job...ah we'll never know.

chris is all the ladies' bitch. this weekend he was writing his MCAT, and orgainizing a whole birthday party for his friend Diana. she's ok...but the stuff she says, it's just ... well... she says it and you think, "what!? what the hell was the point of that?" and then she'll laugh after everything she says, and everything you say. i don't think chris would hang around anyone like that unless he had a crush or something. which is....hmm....worse? anyways, chris was complaining all about it, but since he could do something about it, i had no sympathy. haha, he's my bitch too.

i hate feeling like this is as good as life will ever get. it's great now, but it makes me want to cry, to think that it's all downhill from here. wait no, according to my mom and everyone over the age of 25, my university days will be the as good as it gets. i don't see how. i'll probably turn suicidal from choosing the wrong program; courses; campus; country. goddamit, all the universities make themselves sound good, and the people who have gone there are biased. wherever i go, it'll be by pure chance. and maybe a little scholarship money (please God? just a little??).

it still hasn't sunk in yet. i'm starting to think that maybe i should have taken it second semester. i'm really sorry to say that graduating with my current class isn't as big an issue to me as it was last year. i probably just need to see everyone again. it's insane how fast your moods can change...

ugh, i feel like i'm choking. i feel like i need fresh air. i hate when people change.

the bob dylan concert was great. but nothing big to talk about there. some people were smoking the nastiest smelling pot ever. i've smelt the stuff before, but this was in it's own league. i dunno, maybe he mixed it with some of his own crap to make a unique brand or something. of course, the guy was wearing a tie-dye shirt. ass. he should be sent to military school. just kidding (to who? agh. you can tell it's 1am)
i didn't see melissa either, which sucked. it was weird because i didn't want to find her, i wanted her to find me. she probably has no idea how many people have shoulderlengh burgandy-dyed hair. wait, i think she told me she changed her hair yet again. oops. ah well.

devon and i haven't hung out this summer. i didn't think it'd happen anyways, which isn't a big deal. i could have called her too, and it's not like we were avoiding each other.

i got the newest Better Than Ezra cd today. it's really good, i loves its. if you want to know what they sound like, download "Good" for their old stuff, "King of New Orleans" or "Desperately Wanting" for their not as old stuff, and "Misunderstood" for their newest stuff. they are all good songs, but they're nearly the only band i know who is actually getting better as they go along. (weezer, collective soul, and radiohead i'm talking to you!), whoa, those song titles kind of tell a story. i don't like it! it makes me seem like a nerdy, desperate, misunderstood spacy loser! arrrg *pirate?* and yet it matters so much to me what complete strangers are thinking of me! if only someone cared.
dammit, i hate when i'm the last one in my house to go to sleep. it makes me want to stay up until everyone wakes up again. but company is coming over tomorrow, until saturday, so will be waiting on hand and foot. that's actually ok, i'm alright with it, since it's my grandparents, and they're really sweet in a strange distant chinese grandparent way.

we visited my god mom today, and she gave me a candle that was poured into a champagne glass. i acted like it was the most amazing thing in the world, and she seemed pleased, which was what i was going for the whole time. no, it's pretty nice, i like candles. what girl doesn't? well...maybe my brother. hahaha...boo. she also told me about how her daughter (my god sister?) took this course on how to make your own glass beads!! it sounds amazing. she (my god mom) is going to take me to a funky bead store she knows about next time we go down. my god-sister makes me jealous because she used to make and sell these really amazing broaches (spelt wrong) and necklaces, which had pieces of coloured glass lined with pewter and a few glass stones on them. she's also thinking of designing and selling her own line of necklaces from glass beads and pewter, or metal. look out for it. you might see it someday, her name's Tonya, and that was the name she used for the broaches. of course, it's alright since she's in her mid 20s, so i can take comfort in the fact that i still have time to catch up.

i used to always take comfort in the fact that i could catch up, until there were suddenly these 14year old pilots, and 12 year old university graduates. dammit! those jackasses just have to ruin it for everyone.

when emma's dad drove me home the other night, he was lecturing emma on preparing and to take advantage of the little time left to get ahead of all the other students applying to university, and that this is the most precious time, and that we will never be able to reclaim it, and while we are out having fun, everyone else is studying and getting an edge on us. yeah, it was (seriously) the freakiest thing to hear what i thought only my parents were thinking come out of someone else's parent's mouth. i think that made me believe that there are some robotfreak kids out there studying day and night and who are going to get my place in the program i want. meh, they can have it. they deserve it after all that hard work. lol, meanwhile my dad reads this and will boot me in the ass. wait a minute, why would my dad read my blog? freaky.

shit, i feel sick. need sleep. it cures everything.

i finished learning Fur Elise today. it sounds sad, and makes me feel bad for myself, which makes me feel good. geez, i sound like i'm an emotional sadist or something. this bob dylan thing has turned bad for me, ever since i found out my mom already knew. plus she invited a friend, which is going to make us always have to make sure her friend is always happy and having fun, or else we're bad hosts. ie: we were going to go out to dinner before hand, but now we have to bring along paula (my mom's old university roomie, and the friend i keep mentioning) eventhough it's an extra pain in the ass to keep making sure our plans work out with her, plus we won't act as natural. at least i know my mom won't. this isn't about me, it's for my mom, so i shouldn't complain, but i don't want to organize or think or make any more phone calls anymore. at least not about the concert. i'm acting like a spoiled little kid, but i can't (don't want ?) to help it. ugh. it sucks not even being able to say what i'm thinking, because then it'll make my mom feel bad and she'll always remember how i was unhappy about the whole thing instead of how good it'll be. lets hope...

geez, i was just talking to shannon last night about how i hate when people have all this self-pity for themselves and don't do anything about it, but here i am, doing the same thing.

hahaha sharon signed my guestbook. hi sharon, you dirty chink.
i hope i wasn't the "greasy dego wop" you were talking about in melissa's survey...hey, i said dego, not diego, or deeego, or whatever else i said during the trip!

mom said she was going to the office again tonight, and i promised i'd go with her. but she's taking a shower right now, so maybe we won't go after all (???)

like i said, i haven't decided if today was a good, or a bad day. i got a lot done, but everyone is pissing me off. i finally got my new glasses. oh mickey, they're so fine. they are so fine, they blow my mind. try saying that in a normal tone of voice without laughing. it's tough stuff. so anyways, i think i might try to stay up tonight. CBC said the meteor shower was peaking tonight after midnight. but i'm sure you were just wondering that.

julia's great, and i think she's bucketloads of fun, but she talks about pat too much in her blog. i know she's reading this, so i'm just gonna announce ... why don't you go say hi to him, if you want him to say hi to you? sooner or later one of you guys is going to have to swallow your pride and just say something polite. wait, i bet you don't care if he says hi to you or not, it's just the principle of the idea. alright. it's julia's blog though, so julia can write what she wants, and i'll urge myself not to read it, but of course, my addiction to all of julia's online publications will win, as it always does.

damn, bruce campbell is the coolest!!! (sorry johnny c.) i was over at my aunt's house, where mark and chris are staying for the summer. david was home (one of my cousins) which was fun. i haven't seen him in a while. he always has the coolest tshirts. him and his siblings (Sonya and Jeff) would send us all their handmedowns, except i think it was his mom who sent it, without her kids knowing. so we'd always show up wearing all their stuff, and they'd freak out (what the....dammit mom!). once she even gave me Sonya's handmedown underwear. and i'm sorry to say that i wore it too. hahahaa ww god. i bet your'e waiting for me to say just kidding. well............
too bad (for me).

anyways, back to b.campbell. yeah, i was watching mark's director's cut of Army of Darkness. i still haven't seen the first two (again, another fact i know everyone was wondering). it's a horror/comedy, but it's so lame at some points, that's what makes it great. it's one of my favourites. i've talked about it before, so i won't keep on keepin' on about that.

oh yes. i got my glasses, aka the squash goggles. but i tried them on, and i really like 'em. they kinda flare out at the top. but only kinda, don't think i have a horrible taste in glasses frames or anything (oh, the horror). what else happened today...some funny convos between my family members, as always.
andrew's funny. he has all these university frosh week shirts from Mark and Chris, and he was wearing Mark's while he was registering at university today. i mean, how bad might it seem, if he's wearing a shirt from a frosh week in '98, but he's registering to be a frosh? i feel like i'm all alone on this one.

i'm almost done my Wheel of Time book. (i feel bad for whoever clicks that link. it's confusing, and you'll think the book is for crackheads if you try to understand the descriptions.) Winter's Heart one, no less (like, the tenth one in the series). i'm a little embarassed about it for some reason, but i guess they're a really popular series. i saw a guy on a bus reading one of 'em once, and i wanted to go up to him and just start talking about it, but i got scared and stayed seated. once i was in boston pizza and the waiter saw me reading one of the books, and he and i had a 5 minute discussion about how much we like 'em. my mom was scared that time. "oh god, i've raised a freak!". i think i'm embarassed about it because once i was in WalMart with emma, and the other peeps, and i saw a WoT book on the shelf. i said "hey! i have like...the whole series of those books!" and emma was like "ewww....you loser." then like, 15 minutes later i finally said "what do you mean? they're cool.*half mocking myself*" but it turns out she thought it was a romance novel or something. one of those ones they sell at airports and stuff. of course i didn't tell her about the other book i'm reading....The Steamy Secrets of Hideaway Hollow.

just kidding, i made that title up. pretty good, huh?

so as i said 2 paragraphs or so ago (the flow of this blog is amazing. mr peshnak, you dun good) andrew and mama were being funny today.
andrew: rosco just pooed! (i don't know why he continues to announce this everytime rosco does poo, i mean, it's not like it's unheard of) andrew then continued to tell a story of how he woke up to someone saying "poopie! go poopie! rrrrghhh *straining sounds*" and he went to see what was going on, and it turns out it was my mom, trying to coax rosco to poo before she took him out of his cage. if anything, her "encouragement" would make it harder to take a crap, don't you think? of course, there's more than one thing wrong with that whole mental picture anyways.

hmmm what else. oh yeah! i took my first drive today! my first drive in my life! it's nothing big actually, i drove a whole 45metres from the mouth of S.Court to my driveway. i went so slowly, it was sad. i looked at the spedometer as i was driving, and i wasn't even driving fast enough to register. it said i was going 0 km/h. i'm like a parent's wet dream when it comes to driving. hahaha "parent's wet dream". i've been watching the Breakfast Club. that movie is a lot more raunchy than i thought it'd be. just that part where that dirt says they should rape the prom queen to pass the time, and the time when the dirt asks the prom queen how far she's gone with a guy. the freaky girl with dandruff was my favourite though, because i have a parka too. another favourite.

Bobby D in 4

aw man, now i remember why today was kind of crappy. it turns out mama knew all along about the bob dylan concert. she accidentally let it slip when she was asking if we needed to stay over the next night. i was so disappointed that it wasn't a suprise, that i started crying. i was trying so hard to hide it, but we were in a car, and she noticed. she always notices when i'm crying, or when i've been crying, or even when i'm just tearing. it's weird. anyways, i was trying really hard to hide it because i could tell it was making her feel really bad, but it wasn't working. eventually i got over it, fortunately. anyways, i should have been more careful, because the way she found out was that she saw the tickets come in the mail, and then she saw my mastercard invoice and saw that i had spent it on bob dylan tickets. later i asked her how she reacted, and she said she screamed, but i think she was just trying to make me feel better. actually, i can see her screaming at a bob dylan ticket. and get this, so now she's like "oh dont' worry, you can still make it a suprise...suprise me with where we're going to dinner! and where we're staying that night!" she's so lazy. haha, but anyways, i told her how mark can't go anymore, and chris has to leave a little early (MCATs the next day; medical school entrance exam) so we had an extra ticket. she kept asking if we should invite a friend, (this was even before i knew she knew) so now it tuns out that she already invited a friend!! ahhh geez!! i have to hand it to her though, she did amazingly hiding that she knew what was going on. ugh. it sucks, i'm still kind of upset she knows. i can't let her know though.

John Leguizamo is on Conan. josie loves him, i wonder if she's watching? nah, she always goes to sleep at decent hours.

julia, why don't you sleep instead of blog? then you don't have to talk about sleeping on your blog. it makes me tired.

i haven't decided if today was a good day, or a bad day yet. i'd elaborate, but i made the mistake of reading julia's blog before coming here. sorry kids.

"the fad of the anti-fad"

i was reading laurie's blog when i found a link to this site. it's about emo people and "how to be emo". it's hilarious, i love it. i like how people probably take it seriously too. it's so true though, i mean this was exactly what i'm thinking about the whole thing, except that it's put into words. i know emma would love this.

the whole forcing emo on everyone else and getting angry when they start liking it too, as if it's an exclusive thing; the "fad of the anti-fad"; poserish-ness; hardcore-nish; the emo pple trying to be "more emo" than other emo people. sigh.

i guess it's like that in any genre though. it just sucks for the real people who were like that just because they were, and now they're in the same group as all the wannabes.

monkey face

you know how in an exam, there's always at least one person who has a stuffy nose, or is sniffling all the time, or something? yeah, during my Harmony exam, that was me. i felt bad for everyone else. it's always so darn quiet during those exams, you wouldn't believe. anyways, i didn't have any kleenex or anything, and my nose was running like the dickens, so i had to resort to wiping it on my sleeve. gross, huh? yeah, i know. that just reminded me of how in grade 1, i never blew my nose, so mme bolduc would call me Monkey Face. and i cried once, when i got home. i told her last year, and she didn't believe me. then she wouldn't let it go. then she got mad at me on the last week of school. or rather, she didn't like "the way i made her feel". blegh. i don't have anything against her though, i'm over it.

the exam was easier than i thought it'd be. which made me worry, so i stayed an extra 30 minutes, and found 3 mistakes. then i felt better and left 10 minutes early.

Chris, Diana, and Carol are watching MuchMusic right now, and it'd Nelly singing that "it's hot in here" song. oops..that wasn't street enough..."hot in herre" or however the hell he spells it. that song it so nasty. they're making fun of him and his fake bandage on his cheek.

Diana: "you know what's funny, imagine he had to change the bandage every new take?"

that video is up there with Usher with P.Diddy, when Usher looks at his abs then looks away all hurt. i've mentioned it before...

zit-fart.

yesterday andrew and i had the most hilarious conversation. we were talking about popping zits and...

andrew: " i love the ones where they're like *insert squishy sound* and they just explode"
me: "yeeeeaahhh! i like the ones where there's like...a soft goo first, then if you do it right, a hard puss comes out and then the zit goes away like, within the hour"
andrew:" aw, i've never had one of those, but i get the ones where you can't pop it no matter what, and they just get bigger and bigger, and they really hurt"
me: "yeah, the boil/zit sorta dealy"
andrew:"is that what a boil is?"
me: "umm i dunno. i just think a boil's like an infection or something, right?"
by this point, the room had cleared, and it was just us two. (but did i really need to mention that?)
andrew: "popping zits is such a relief. it's like...letting out a huge fart"
me: a little confused"yeah..."
andrew: " like, you know when you're all crampy and you're like, uuughh.. *he leans over the counter top, clutching his stomach*
and then suddenly it's *insert huge fake fart sound* and you're just like, ahhhhh!" *he suddenly straightens up, and looks all satisfied*

it's almost sad how i wasn't disgusted at all. almost sad.

...

i still haven't picked up my glasses. when i was shopping them, everyone was telling me to get a different pair of frames, but i ended up getting the ones that only i liked better. chris and andrew said that they reminded them of squash glasses, or chemistry lab goggles. but whatever. mr.webster says chem lab goggles are cool. and webby knows everything.

speaking of school, i still need to get my report card. they're never open! argh.
i wonder what josie's been doing all summer.
emma and dayna come home today.
that means we'll be going camping sometime soon.
i bet shannon's at work right now.
hmm dinnertime! great fun.

my neighbours are swimming in their new pool. boo. i should go throw tomatoes at them.

freaky pt.2

it's the 2nd murder this year, and my town only has a pop of 16,400! scary. it's gotten me all paranoid for OSCSS so i'm looking for a roomie. have i already blogged that before? ah well, too bad. anyways, my aunt has to get back to me on whether or not she is willing to let someone else live in her house. (yet again. right this moment, Chris and Mark are staying there for the summer. Mark bought a house though! it's cool, i saw it from the outside. bigger than i thought it'd be.) it's might sound really bad and racist but as i was looking at the names, i was trying to narrow it down. (that's not the racist part..duh) so i was crossing out everyone from T.O., and so that left about a quarter of the people left. then i crossed out all the guys, that left about 5 other people. then i crossed the girl who is named Steph too (think about it! it'd be so confusing and sort a pain in the ass to live with someone the same name) so i decided i'd call the girl with the last name "Tran" first. only because it sounds asian. ok, before you pass judgements; i don't have anything against non-asians, it's just sometimes easier to get to know other CBCs (Canadian Born Chinese...or in "Tran's" case, Vietnamese?) because i find sometimes i have more to talk about with them. i.e: going to "Chinese" school, insanely high expectations from families, the whole "Respect your elders", early curfews, endless scores of cousins, aunties and uncles (some aren't really related. the rest are thanks to concubines.), bubble tea, asian-pop music, other FOB-ish stuff, and stuff that you'd only notice if you were a minority. i push that stuff too far sometimes, i think. i don't mean that i'll like her more cause she's asian, i just mean that i already know what stuff we have (possibly) in common. alright, i'm probably offending people to no end, so i'll stop...

...or maybe i won't. Whenever i think about OSCSS (and that would be...all the time..) i get...i was going to say excited, but that's not what i'm trying to say. i'm a little nervous too. i keep expecting people to be mean or too quiet or too something there. i remember melissa wrote me a note a long time ago, in grade school, and she said "i always think badly of people until they prove themselves good". i'm not usually like that, but that's how i'm being about the OSCSS. it's bad. now i'm thinking it's too short, and if i have a really good time there, it'll suck to go back to St.Paul's. which is a bad thing to think too. even worse if that's what happens. that's why andrew told me to take OSCSS for 2nd semester, but i didnt' listen cause i wanted to graduate with everyone. i can't put into words why it's so important to me that i graduate with everyone, but i think it's obvious why.

yesterday andrew and i suprised my mom by cleaning up a room. that doesn't sound like a big deal, but my house has pratically no walls, so the downstairs is like...only 3 rooms by definition, but really it's 7 "sections". anyways, he found my Fanta bag!! it's great. i got it at this Chinese Mall. usually things there are either really overpriced, or really cheap. it's fun though because you can barter. now if only i knew enough chinese to do that. i always know what they're saying, but they never understand what i'm saying. (or do they??? hmmm....tricky tricky). anyways, that's where i'm gonna get my choengsam done. i'm excited for that. i like Lording it over everyone how i'm going to be miss china. someone will snap and slap me someday. it's funny. i'm looking forward to it. ok, i'm just rambling now ("now??? she's rambling now?? how about for the last 15 blogs??").

that reminds me of that time in Art last year when we were painting the sets for Rebel Without A Cause, and some people were playing on the piano. which made me really want to play it (admit it, you love showing off too) but i didn't because i didn't want people to think i was trying to show off. then nick (who was always bragging about how good he was at piano, even without lessons) tells me he can play the Entertainer. i'm like, my ass you can play the entertainer. go do it. so he goes and he plays the fucking simplified version! and he was so proud! it's friggin' grade 2 stuff!!! i found it aggrivatingly funny. funny because he's an idiot, and aggrivatingly so because i was the only one who could tell it was the version for dummies. it's always hard to tell if a song is hard though, if you can't see the sheet music. i always want to play piano whenever i see one. i never used to be like that, it's a sudden thing. it can be therapeutic in many ways. yes. anyhoo...

awww rosco is being so cute!! he's singing but it sounds like he's talking chinese (because he ends everything with a held low note, so it reminds me of when my family ends everything with an "ayaaaaa"). we cut his nails a while ago, but he's still not used to it. he slips and slides everywhere. he'll fly onto a table, and then slide off. it's hilarious.

Harmony Exam tomorrow, at 9:00 sharp. i stayed home today from going into Toronto just to study, but i haven't done any of the sort just yet. i'm a little bit nervous, but meh. it's obviously not the first thing on my mind. Harmony is such a pain in the ass. it's just like music theory (it's what you take after 2 years of theory), but it's all the rules that Bach made up about writing classical music. it's useless to me, since i will never write a classical piece of music. except for harmony class. but enough rendundancies. Harmony is extra-crappy since composers now a days purposely don't follow the rules. and even back then, Bach would break his own rules. for example, there's this one thing that Bach always did at the end of his pieces that no one else was "Allowed" to do, and i did it once, and my piano teacher asked me if i was Bach. i said, "umm" and she said "because Bach was the only one who ever did this." . it was pretty funny. there was this other time when i was writing music for singers, and i accidentally put in an interval of a seventh, and she said "no one could ever sight-sing this. it's impossible! could you sight-sing an interval of a seventh?" and i said "umm..." (yet again. i mean, you never know...maybe i can!) and she said "exactly. no one can." Later, when i told Andrew this, he said i should have sang an interval of a seventh, or at least tried, instead of saying "umm". can you imagine?? that'd be soo friggin' funny. i'd laugh my pants off. (ew. i wonder where that saying came from.)

Chris is coming home tonight, and he's bring friends. I heard most of them are girls. Chris always wonders why he has more friends that are girls than friends that are guys, but i told him it's probably because girls always try to be nice to guys, and they're always mean to other girls. plus he's a hoe. anyways, i usually don't like any of the girls who are friends with my brothers. they always bug me, somehow. they're so annoying. i haven't met any of these ones yet, so we'll see.

Tanya wrote me again! i got the letter yesterday. she sent me a Canada bracelet. it's cool. i started the letter back, and it's so long (5 pgs...it makes me feel somewhat sorry for myself). it's not even finished yet. i'll probably have to pay extra because the pages will get heavy.

my mom admitted that she thought that her suprise was a weekend at a spa. it's awesome hearing how she expects it to be so much crappier than it actually is. i'm excited to go, not just to see her reaction now. i've been listening to a lot of Bob Dylan's stuff (As i've mentioned earlier, no doubt) and i like a lot of it. plus melissa and her family is going to be there! i'll probably see her, we'll be the young'uns and plus we're both on the lawn. i hope i see her, that'd be so fun!

"Diamond Road" by Sheryl Crow. really bittersweet song.

p.s. aren't those "Fantanas" annoying?? i have to admit, i like the song. wanna fantaa....

freaky.

has no one else heard about the local stabbing/murder?? how come no one else knows???

i'm worried for mama. she's gonna be living on her own really soon. in less than a month in fact. she went to a sleep study last night, and won't be back until tonight, but before she left she was saying "aww i'm going to miss this!! i miss you guys already!" it was heartbreakingly cute. it's sad to know that things are going to change really soon. i'm a little melancholy because i really like the way things are now, and i don't like change.

"school"starts for me on sept. 4th. it's "school" because we're going on an overnight field trip for the first two days. that's when i get my red labcoat (hehehe...the real reason why i applied in the first place). i went to st.pauls just now to try to pick up my report card (that's right, i still haven't gone in to get it. and st.paul's is how far from my house?), but all the doors were locked, and there weren't any cars. although there was a strange banging sound coming from the portables. i got worried and went home. the sprinklers were on in the field, but only the back ones. hmmm...
oh, by the way, that link is boring. click it if you don't know what i'm talking about.

i've been having future-telling dreams. let me explain...
my first dream was about me getting my G1 card in the mail, and seeing the picture for the first time. i look really confused in it, and it's basically a really bad picture. (oh, by the way, i went for my g1, and got it. only one mistake...how could emma have failed it?!)
the second dream was about me and my family being at the Bob Dylan concert, but me having forgotten the tickets. it was a pretty boring and frustrating dream because i spent the whole time on the phone trying to get them to let us in. meh, it was lame. but the point is that this all could happen!! aaagh!

i was feeling really regretful last week. about not taking a chance on someone when i should have. but the more i think about it, i bet i would have been unhappy if i had anyways.

so since i got the reply package from OSC, i have to start thinking about where i'm going to live and how i'm gonna feed myself, get around (heh heh. get around. ok, i'm done) next semester. they mailed me a list of places i could live (families who are willing to rent out space...and sometimes feed me! haha, they're so screwed. i'm a fucking bottomless pit). i remember talking to past osc students during my interview to get in, and they were telling me about the "cat lady" and the "fun house" and stuff. it would be fun to live with a roomate from OSC, plus probably safer, and i'd feel so independant. but then again, i would save a lot of money living with my aunt. except her house is a 5 minute walk from the nearest bus stop, and i'd feel so fucking freaked out walking home after dark, alone. my mom says she'll drive me home every time i go out with friends, but please. her suggestions are all really rediculous. we got in a fucking fight yesterday, but i don't even remember what we were arguing about. i remember it was about what i'm gonna do next semester, and i was really pissed off because they were making all the choices for me. she keeps coming up with retarded reasons why not to get a roomate, and why not to live in a house with a family. i'd go into them, but i'm too fucking tired, and it would get me all riled up. anyways, everything is good now. fights between my mom are always fast but furious. my family says i'm too quick-tempered. but i always get over whatever i'm mad about really quickly. meh, moving along.

andrew was sleeping, and i took rosco and started rubbing his wing on andrew's hand. suddenly andrew woke up and jerked his hand back. in doing this, he managed to swipe rosco, and send him flying across the room. and by flying, i don't mean he was using his wings. i don't know what made me do it. annoying-little-sister-instinct i guess.

blogging is starting to bore me. that's prolly why i haven't blogged in a long time.

so back to the science centre package...
it included a list of my class for next semester. incase i wanted to call one of them to be my room mate. it's really really weird to be looking at the names of people you know you'll become really close to, before you know anything about them. most of them are from Toronto, more than i was expecting. none from quinte area. 28 people in all, and 8 have asian sounding last names (coincidence? i think not. just kidding). 9 are guys. more than half are from T.O., and i'm worried some of them will know each other already. i don't like that idea, for some reason. as i looked at the names, i was trying to tell if what they'd be like. it was like..."well, this guy's name is Abeer, so i bet he's a partier. this girl is named Jenna. i dont' think i'll like her." i dunno what i have against the name jenna. it just sounds so prissy. watch Abeer be a big geek, and Jenna be my closest friend. i don't think anyone from my interview group made it. there was this one girl i thought would make it, the one who reminded me of Hannah. i forgot her name, but i didn't recognize any of the ones off the sheet.
i think i'll just live with my aunt while i'm there. that way, i'll have a piano, and i'll have a computer to myself. but i'll be so lonely...*sigh* decisions decisions. i don't know how i'm supposed to figure this one out.

holy shit, andrew just came in the house. i didn't know he was gone!

harmony exam in 3 days....i'm suprisingly not nervous. i had my last lesson today. it was uneventful.
fuck, i'm always in a bad mood by the end of blogging.